yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
