He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
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