At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Bring me that man meat
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
