just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
