Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
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