She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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