If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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