I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
