I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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