I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
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