shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
