2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
jump out the window naked night went bad
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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