If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
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