lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
Randomize
