How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Randomize
