Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Randomize
