I puked a lego.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Randomize
