We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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