i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Randomize
