ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Randomize
