My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Randomize
