Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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