My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Randomize
