Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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