OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
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