Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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