i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Randomize
