# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
