forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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