I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
3pm strippers are depressing
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
