Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
handjob tips. give me some.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
Randomize
