Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Also, beer. Big fan.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
