i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Randomize
