went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Randomize
