That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Randomize
