had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
