DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
