Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize