Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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