I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Randomize
