Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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