you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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