question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
