went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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