I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Randomize
