It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
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