that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
