this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
