So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
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