Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Randomize
