after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
You are the jesus of drinking
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Randomize
