white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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