he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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