my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
