if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize
