i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Randomize
