You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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