i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
I need moral support for this bender
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Randomize
