eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
