She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
