Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize